Of Puppetmaking, Baseball Teams, and Babysitting
by Cora and Eithne
Summary: The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Tense, anxious, neither moving until the other did. Kabuto and Sasori stared at each other, waiting for the first move of the fight. Until Kabuto brought up baseball teams.


Author's Note: This was originally a roleplay between Eithne Usuki (the wonderful lovely uber awesome Eithne) and Digital Skitty (me, Cora). We decided to leave the format alone, otherwise I'd (Cora) probably end up killing it.

-.-.-

Kabuto blinked. "Well, though I am accustomed to surprises, I suppose that I can still say I am...surprised."

"...Indeed." Sasori deadpanned. "And you think that I would die so easily?"

Kabuto coughed. If he could move his hand he would have covered his mouth for politeness, but seeing as he couldn't, he didn't utilize the option. Trying to ignore the thudding pain from the bump on his head that had knocked him out, he planned a response...and an escape. Oh, and tried not to think how novice like he felt from being knocked out like that. "No," he said softly and submissively, "No, Sasori-sama."

"Hmph." Sasori snorted softly, staring with his usual lidded, scarlet gaze down at the silver-haired shinobi. "I suppose you are wondering why you're tied up, aren't you, Kabuto-san...?" He asked quietly, more to measure his reaction than anything. "Or don't you care, and just want to escape?"

"Both of your assumptions are correct," Kabuto said, his sneer almost apparent in the words as well. "Were you lonely, Sasori-sama?" Kabuto snickered.

Sasori's eyes narrowed slightly. Why, _why _did he always feel so irritated around his own subordinate? (_I wonder if Zetsu has problems like mine with Tobi_, Sasori thought.) Yes, Kabuto had been an excellent source of information, but he was rather arrogant in his own right. "Hardly, Kabuto-san. I care not for human company, as you well know." The man stated tonelessly. He refused to comment or offer explanations for the questions he had asked earlier, however.

"Then why am I here?" Kabuto asked back suddenly, angrily, "Sasori-sama, I have business to take care off with Orochimaru-sama and..." he twitched in irritation, remembering the brat, and then continued, "Sasuke...kun."

"Because, Kabuto-san. I can't help but sometimes question your loyalty...and I feel as if I want to be able to control you and your loyalties a bit more..." Sasori said blandly. Now it was his turn to smirk, although since he was rather emotionless anyway, one could hardly tell.

Kabuto blanched. What is he saying? A bead of sweat suddenly fell down the side of his forehead as he noticed puppet parts lying around the rest of the room. "Sasori...sama..." he whispered, fear clogging the rest of his senses and intuition.

"Yes, Kabuto-san?" Sasori asked innocently, as if he had no idea of the sudden anxiety filling the room. He absentmindedly pick up one of the blades off of the floor, examining the shine and quality of the metal.

Kabuto's heart stopped for a second; a sharp intake and outtake of breath paining his lungs. _Thank god I can regenerate my cells, thank god I can regenerate my cells_. The phrase echoed throughout his head many times. But that didn't mean he was immortal. Darn. Reality was a nasty beast. For a moment, Kabuto pondered whether telling Sasori that Orochimaru would come after him. A sinking thought entered his head after that. _Who am I kidding? He's got his Sasuke_. His posture slumped.

Sasori watched him in mild amusement. When Kabuto didn't answer him, however, he decided to set aside whatever doubts or panicky thoughts were running through his head. "You are quite the skilled shinobi, Kabuto-san. But your motives are...questionable sometimes. I wish to fix that. And I am sure I can deal without a spy in Orochimaru's ranks for a while," The redhead said, another almost-smirk gracing his features. "So, thanks to your skills, I think I'm going to make you into one of my puppets. It's a shame that much of your famed medical jutsus will be lost; puppets can't use those. It's a pity, don't you think, Kabuto-san?"

"Then I wouldn't be of much of a help to you," He said, a slight snarl in his words, "You should know I mainly use my medical jutsus. And besides, Sasori-sama," Kabuto's hands had already, (if with difficulty), formed the seals for his mystical palms technique, and the scalpel cut through the ropes quite easily. Standing and stretching out his limbs, Kabuto moved into an attacking stance. "I think you'll find I'm not exactly willing to become one of your puppets. You'll just get nearly killed again."

Sasori didn't seem terribly surprised by Kabuto's escape. "You _mainly _use your medical jutsus. Don't be so modest, Kabuto-san." His voice, however, betrayed him with a note of nervousness. "And although you are rather skilled, I'm the one wearing the cloak. My brush with death before was merely a fluke; you can't hope to get so lucky." The redhead moved into a fighting stance as well, although one arm reached back idly to withdraw one of the scrolls mounted on his back. "Or do you wish to test that?"

"Your cloak won't help you against me if we are to fight, Sasori-sama," Kabuto replied, relaxing his stance a bit. In his actions, the medic nin was trying to portray that he did not wish to fight. But in all things, he would go with whatever ensued. "Tell me, Sasori-sama: what will you do after all the nine bijuu are collected?"

Sasori still held his summoning scroll firmly, although the Oto-nin had relaxed. He didn't feel like being surprised, especially with an attack. "And how will that information benefit you? Why do you wish to know?" the puppet master questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Kabuto folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. His black eyes glinted. "I'd like to know - if in the event I am made into a puppet - what I would be used for if you capture the rest of the bijuu." He replied smoothly. And, all in all, it was the truth.

"Your brilliant mind would be gone, so it wouldn't matter to you in that particular event." Sasori replied calmly. "And you think that once we capture them all, we will stop fighting? You will be used in fights, like any of my other puppets." He was purposely vague, but it was the truth at the same time.

"It would matter," Kabuto said softly. It would matter because he'd like to know. And it also would matter because the medic nin was at his wit's end trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament. It was only a short while before he found himself in a blank panic, and then all hope would be lost.

"Are you nervous? I can assure you, it is not as painful as it would look or sound." He remarked blandly. Sasori finally reached back to store his summoning scroll away again, deciding that Kabuto most likely wouldn't risk an attack in the current situation. "And how, exactly, would it matter?" The Suna nin was actually mildly curious in Kabuto's insistence to know. Not that he'd show it openly, mind you.

"It just.." Kabuto sputtered, beginning to lose his composure, "Would matter!" He suddenly caught himself, cutting off the flow of words from his mouth, and tried fervently to slow down his breathing. _SHIT SHIT! He's got the advantage now!_

Sasori smirked inwardly. Outwardly, his expression didn't change in the least. So Kabuto was afraid of death...or the death of his mind, his soul, at least. "You would most likely be one of my more precious puppets, because I'm not exactly sure just how many of your jutsus you'd retain. You would be used to take out my enemies and fight. Is that specific enough for you, Kabuto-san? Or must you know more of my own motives and plans?" He asked calmly, watching as Kabuto started to calm down a bit.

Kabuto shrugged, though only with one shoulder. He nodded slightly, and then spoke. "More or less, Sasori." His tone was a bit less panicked, yet more icy. Now that he was staring at the floor, he was running over his options again - which, sadly, weren't much.

"No '-sama'?" Sasori asked quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. _Kabuto had succeeded in calming himself down after his near-panic attack, and was no doubt formulating some plan for escape_, he thought. But the redhead had the upper hand, at least for the moment. He intended to keep it that way as well, so Sasori was reduced to watching Kabuto intently, judging his reactions and expressions and wondering just when he'd try for action, rather than words.

"No," Kabuto replied, looking back at him. His eyes were now back to his usual hard, black coals, and he smirked, then added smoothly, "I believe that the situation we are partaking in right now dismisses politeness." He stretched, making sure all of his limbs were working as well as they could for this situation.

"...Alright, I can accept that in the current situation." Sasori nearly shrugged, looking slightly more lazy or relaxed. Whichever. With that last comment, Kabuto had established himself as calm and collected again, even going as far as to subtly insult him. This could end interestingly indeed. (_Kabuto was stretching_, Sasori thought vaguely, _He is making sure he's not stiff from being tied up. Getting ready for some sudden movement, most likely_...Sasori noted.)

"What you accept," Kabuto said, pausing to finish stretching his forearm, "Makes no difference to anyone right now, Sasori." He turned back, "Briefly, I'll tell you this. For one, the rest of your spies have been killed by Sasuke now. Also - why would you want to lose your spy on Orochimaru? If I showed up, all wooden and clacking, you certainly wouldn't expect him to offer me more assignments like nothing had happened, would you?"

"I know precisely when my spies die, Kabuto. And I am aware that you are one of my last links to Orochimaru. But, as I said, I can deal for a few months without information on him." Sasori paused, narrowing his eyes. "And do you honestly think that I would be idiotic enough to send you back to him? I have told you; I plan on using you for fighting, not for informational purposes."

"Weelllllll..." Kabuto said, unsure of what to say now, as small talk was currently deserting him, "How 'bout them Tigers?"

Sasori stayed silent, completely unsure of how to reply. Or what the heck he was talking about, anyway. "...Uh...Oh, if you're merely stalling," He said, finally thinking of some answer--although it was completely unrelated to that random comment his former subordinate made, "I suppose I should end this."

Kabuto sighed and took the knife away from Sasori quite forcefully, almost in a motherly-hen sort of manner. Clicking his tongue, he held the knife out of the shorter man's reach. "Really now Sasori, you shouldn't play with knives."

Sasori blinked, and instantly frowned in a sulking manner. "But it's miiiiiiine. GIVE IT BACK, KABUTO!!" He whined, jumping up and down to try to grab the blade back.

Kabuto only held it up higher above his head, the sound nin's other hand on his hip. Shaking his head, he sighed, "You never learn, do you? Knives are DANGEROUS."

"GIMME GIMME GIMME!! I'm Akatsuki, I CAN HANDLE IT!!" Sasori wailed, still jumping up and down in his vain attempt to get the knife back. "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!! Now give it back!!"

"You're a stubborn little shorty," Kabuto replied, placing the knife on the top of a bookcase, "That's what you are."

"I'M NOT SHORT TAKE IT BACK!!!" Sasori shouted, trying to climb up the side of the bookcase. "TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK!!!!"

Sighing, Kabuto lifted Sasori by the edge of his collar and put him back on the ground. He looked down at the redhead, arms across his chest again. "You seriously are in need of a time out, do you know that, little man?"

"You're not the boss of me! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!!" Sasori shouted, flailing wildly in his attempt to get back up the bookcase.

One hand on the wooden forehead of his former superior, the other on his own, Kabuto sighed in annoyance. "I'm a man, you baka. I can't be your mother."

Sasori growled, and somehow managed to latch onto Kabuto's arm--with both arms and teeth. He yelled something, but the arm (and fabric) in his mouth muffled it to the point that it was unintelligible. So, instead, thanks to a rather bratty streak he was suddenly in, the redhead bit down on Kabuto's arm as hard as he could.

Kabuto screamed rather girlishly at that point, and flung the smaller man off of him. "AAAUUUGGHHH!!!" He continued to rage, "SPLINTEERRSSS!!!"

Sasori hit the floor with a thump, immediately sitting up and holding his head. He bit his lip, tears springing into his eyes as he half glared, half stared at Kabuto. "I hope it gets infected!" He shouted, tears in his voice as well as his scarlet eyes.

Kabuto sighed, killing his old cells and brushing them off, then regenerating new ones. The splinters fell off as well. "Don't cry now," his hand shot up to his hair again, "Awuuugh, c'mon!!"

Sasori stubbornly crossed his arms and turned away, growling, "I'm NOT crying!!" True, tears weren't streaming down his cheeks (just yet), but his voice cracked in spite of him.

Kabuto kneeled down, berating himself for ever choosing a babysitting job like this. Sure, the pay was awesome, but ol' Chiyo could certainly be an intimidating presence. "Hey," he said softly, and exhaustedly, "It's alright to cry, you know."

"I'm not crying. And I'm not GOING to cry." Sasori insisted stubbornly. He refused to look at Kabuto, and remained staring at the opposite wall.

Kabuto smirked slightly, "Then face me and tell me that, little guy."

"I don't have to do anything you say," The redhead replied sulkily, his stare remaining on the wall.

"Yeah well, your grandmother is paying me, so I'd expect you to, little man," Kabuto sighed, rolling his eyes at the ceiling again.

"Feh, I don't care if my grandmother pays you or not." Sasori snorted. (Still glaring at the opposite wall, of course.)

"Yeah well, if I say you were troublesome I could get more money. And well, that would be taken out of your toy money," Kabuto said smugly, still waiting for him to turn around.

"I don't play with toys! Those are REAL weapons!" Sasori cried, whirling around to glare at him. A moment, later, of course, he realized that he had given up staring at the wall and resolutely turned back.

Kabuto laughed, falling backwards from his squat, and pulled the shorter man down as well by accident. Looking into the red eyes, he blinked. "Hello again."

"Don't make me bite you again." Sasori warned in a low voice. He then realized that it would take a moment for Kabuto to get up, however, and practically teleported back over to the bookshelf, scrambling up the side to try to reach his blade.

Kabuto jumped back up, taking the wooden man down in a gentle tackle. "NO," he said firmly, not noticing the knife wobbling on the edge of the bookshelf. Looking up suddenly, he noticed it was about to fall. ."...Well...shit," he muttered, rolling out of the way as quickly as he could. Now he was on his back and Sasori was on his chest, and the knife a few inches away from the medic's head.

Sasori grabbed the blade with a smirk, sticking his tongue out at his 'babysitter'. Not minding the pretty compromising position, of course. "Hah, I got it back." He mumbled, hugging the knife.

Kabuto sighed and held the shorter man up by his collar again. While he was distracted, the taller man took the knife again, tossing it behind him into the wall. Standing up, he set Sasori down and regained the knife. "Do you ever learn?"

Sasori narrowed his eyes in a glare, keeping quiet in rebellion against this indignity. He glanced at the knife, then returned his glare to the silver-haired medic nin, still silently rebelling.

"You're not getting it. Must I destroy it?"

"No!" Sasori immediately exclaimed. That was his favorite blade, and there was no way he'd let Kabuto destroy it!

Kabuto smirked, "Then promise me that at least for tonight, you'll leave the knives alone."

Sasori narrowed his eyes, clearly weighing his options. "..." Give up his toys--weapons? (_Yes, they were weapons, of course_, he reminded himself.) For the whole night? Still...otherwise, that darn Kabuto might destroy it... "...Fine..." He grumbled, crossing his arms, sulking.

Kabuto petted Sasori on the head and hid the knife...who knows where. "Good boy, then," He said, smiling.

Sasori--for lack of a better word--hissed at Kabuto, glaring daggers at the taller shinobi.


End file.
